The Goddess and Me
by equach
Summary: This is a comedic story involving me summoning Madokami/Madoka and my time having her living with me for a few days. This will not be a romance and this is before Rebellion! I do also want you to be aware that there "might" be some grammar and spelling errors.
1. Chapter 1

The Goddess and Me

A Puella Magi Madoka Magica Fanfiction

Note*This will contain spoilers from the anime and is based on the last episode and before the Rebellion story.

I ain't gonna be those guys that act all romantic and smoothing in this story. All I have to say is that my time with Madoka Kaname is, how should I say this, weird.

It all started in school when my friend had a book.

My friend: Hey Erik, I got this weird looking book and it has some strange stuff about entities and gods.

Me: That's neat Pedro, we can finally meet god and ask him about the meaning of life or about that rash I have on my upper leg.

Pedro: Well want to start the ritual now?

Me: F*&% YEAH!

We did a small circle on the lunch tables and then wrote the name of the god that we want to summon on a small piece of paper, which is god. We and some other students whom thought that this is fun started chanting.

Everyone: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea

"Spongebob squarepants"

Absorbant and yellow and porous is he

"Spongebob Squarepants"

If nautical nonsense be something you wish

"Spongebob Squarepants"

Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish

"Spongebob Squarepants"

READY

Spongebob squarepants

Spongebob squarepants

Spongebob squarepants

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Suddenly a thrust of lighting went into our ritual circle. Teachers just look and started screaming like idiots. The lunch lady looked with awe, thinking that this is a sign. A huge light burst through the cafeteria and then BOOM!

Floating on a lunch table appears a girl with long pink hair tied in a twin tail, golden eyes, and a long white dress. Pedro looked somewhat disappointed while I just looked at her moe cuteness. Pedro looked at the circle finding out that one the note that we use to summon the girl, I wrote goddess instead of god.

Everyone in the cafeteria treated this like nothing has happened. Some thought that this is stupid since there is an anime girl standing there. These people stayed ignorant even though there's a goddess here. Some are just too busy to look. Is Pedro and I the only ones surprised?

Pedro: You dirty pervert!

Me: What! A man can dream, but she looks younger than me so that's a down side. She looks about 11 or 12. I'm about 17 in my senior year.

The girl: I'm actually 14.

For the record, Madoka is an all knowing goddess so she can speak English.

Me: Wait the minute, you look familiar. The pink and moe reminds me of... MADOKA MAGICA! You must be Madoka Kaname!

Madoka: Yes I am, why did you summoned me?

Me: First off, I'm Erik and this is Pedro.

I then went on a long list of people and friends in the cafeteria including Stan the janitor. The rest will be mentioned later in this story, but not all of them because not all of them have an important role in this story.

Me: You were summoned here by a small accident, but since your here, maybe you can answer some of our questions.

Madoka: I don't have time for this, I must continue my mission on bringing hope and salvation to all magical girls.

Pedro: What is the color of my underwear?

Madoka: Blue. I must get going.

The goddess tries to teleport, but remembered something.

Madoka: NO! I forgot that I can't teleport. I need my ride.

The anime girl then takes out her cell phone and looked disappointed.

Madoka: I'm going to be here for a while so ask away.

Me: Great, is Pluto a moon rotating around Canada?

Madoka: That is just a really stupid question.

Me: Can you make it happen without any dire consequences?

Madoka: Fine.

Breaking news, Canadian scientists has dicovered that pluto isn't a planet nor dwarf planet, but a moon that rotates around Canada. It was proven to the fact that Pluto seems to be aline with Earth and Canada is in Earth. It was also proven that Pluto is facing Canada.

I saw that on my I-phone.

Madoka: I'm usually have some tolerance for people, but I'm worried that I might lose it with you.

Me: Fine I'll be serious. What is the meaning of life?

Madoka: Its up to you to decide. There are many ways to interpret life.

Pedro: That ain't an answer.

Me: If you take AP English language, that is literally the answer on some of the assignments.

Madoka: I wish Homura-chan is here, or Sayaka-chan.

Me: I want to meet them too!

Madoka: You only want to meet them because they are characters from one of your favorite anime.

Me: Pretty much.

The bell rang.

Me: Well time for class, want to go to Chemistry class with me?

Madoka: Sure I guess, but does Pedro want me to come with him?

Pedro: Nah, I don't know you at all.

Madoka just looked at him and just followed me to class. In chemistry, it was smoking and all the students from the previous class and the teacher looked high. Probably from an experiment gone wrong.

Everyone in the class looked dazed with red eyes. They all acted very lazy in a really funny way. It might be from some Iodine.

My chem teacher: Oh, this is good stuff.

The teacher then inhales the smokey air. Appearently they made a chemical that works like a drug. I wonder how he gets that stuff. Madoka uses her goddess powers to blow the air away and restore everyone back to normal.

Chem teacher: Oh what happened. I don't feel so good.

This happens to the others students. Everyone was dismissed for 3rd period and Madoka and me went to my AP Government class because I felt like it. Madoka and I just stood outside of the class, waiting for my period.

Madoka: American schools are a bit different than the one that I attended.

Me: Of course it is. You got all that advance technology while we have the basics.

Madoka: That's not what I meant, but you got a point. I meant on how your school is a bit strange.

Me: What are you talking about? Its totally normal. I seen your anime series and yours is a bit more extraodinary than mine.

Madoka: Whatever. I hope that your Goverment class is different.

Me: Let's get over this. After sixth period, I'm done.

Madoka: I thought this is fourth period.

Me: This school arranges the class time so that it won't get boring here.

During Class

Gov Teacher: One of the worst part of American history is not the slavery or racism. Its the.. uhh...Articles of the Confederation. Bleh. My tongue tasted one of you just from mentioning the name. Its that bad. I'm probably tasting you Hector.

Everyone, including me, laughed at the attitude of the teacher's speech. Madoka giggled a bit and her giggle was cute. Madoka was sitting on an empty seat, still in her Goddess attire. She's trying to get the feeling of what its like being in a classroom again.

Boy, did she thought wrong since the AP Gov teacher was known to be the best comedian in this school.

Gov Teacher: Remember that tomorrow is the chapter 3 exam.

As I left class, I decided to let Madoka tag along as I walk home because she had no place to go to in Santa Ana and she's part of one of my favorite anime. She could instantly get a hotel room, but she doesn't want to be lonely so I let her crash in my house.

The funny part of all this is that Madoka can teleport around the earth or around one realm, but not to her own realm without a certain portal. What a dumb limit? Gods should be able to do that type of stuff.

Everyone was looking at me and Madoka, but I just enjoyed the moment

Madoka: Are you going to study for the exam?

Me: Of course, along with my other big tests that my classes got for me. Unless you can work your magic in making me smarter.

Madoka: I don't think that's a good idea. You know what happens in cartoons when a character cheats their way in becoming smarter.

Me: Good point. I'll just study like I did since Monday.

Madoka: That's great. I might be able to be your studying partner help you out more.

Me: That's great, we can *( #)$*#$*#$#( #(# % or you can just do that making me smarter thing.

What I just said must never be mentioned in the public, but its nothing nasty. Its just so stupid that is beyond human. It has something to do with a Hippopotamus and talking dolphins. Best not get into details.

Madoka: No! I'm not going to be your Doraemon.

Me: Aw man, we could of have some fun adventures and create chaos into this world with explosions. Hah ha ha ha ha.

Madoka backed off a bit from what I said and shot me with lightning. Since this fanfiction is a comedy, I'm still alive.

Madoka: Whoops. I'm so sorry for that, but what is up with you? You don't seem so normal.

Me: Oh I'm just a funny guy.

...

Somewhere in Japan:

Homura Akemi felt something is wrong. It feels like Madoka is being harmed or harassed in some way. Could she be back from the other plane? Homura decides to take this chance to go take this chance to meet Madoka again.

Homura: Homu Homu.

...

At my house:

Me: Welcome to my crib.

My house looked plain, buts its pretty large with stairs, but nothing fancy like a rich guy. We then went to my room which looks semi-messy and neat at the same time.

Me: Here we have my room. Pretty neat huh.

Madoka: What is that smell?

Me: Its me and my room. Apparently I smell like my room, probably its from the shampoo that I used.

Madoka then uses her magic to get rid of the smell of my bedroom.

Me: Aw come on, I liked that smell.

Madoka: Sorry, its just that I'm not used to it.

Me: I know how you feel. Its like those streets with those stores that ain't like the ones we know. I'm not really used to the smell, but I did get used to the medicine smell.

Madoka: I never really been to those stores.

Me: Whatever, your hungry? We can't study with an empty stomach.

The goddess doesn't need to eat since she is a goddess, but she does so because she felt like it. She just waited at the kitchen table while I did all the cooking because I said so.

I might be no chef, but I made some good cup noodles for the both of us. Madoka seems to like it so that means I manage to get a goddess to like my cooking. Score one for me!

Madoka: These noodles are pretty good.

Me: Your welcome Madoka-chan.

Madoka: Just call me Madoka.

Me: But its just so fun calling you that.

Madoka: Please.

Me: Fine.

My sister came down stairs since she comes home earlier than me and goes to a different school. She looks at me and Madoka and says...

Sister: Who the f^^& is she and your a pervert.

Me: What? She got no place to go. I'll just tell mom and dad about this and how she's a goddess and we'll be cool.

Well I called my parents and they agreed only if I can prove that god is in our house. I might have twisted my words a bit for rhetoical reasons.

I knew that some crap is going to happen if my parents saw Madoka. After eating, Madoka instantly clean everything up and I left to take a shower. The goddess and I then spend time studying for my exam and we do make a good study partners.

Madoka: How would you describe Dual Federalism?

Me: Its like a layer cake.

Madoka: Embyro/Embryon.

Me: Germ cell. I think I'm doing well on the word dissection. Bring me some Calculus.

Madoka: Derivative of cosx.

Me: -sin.x

Madoka: cscx

Me: -cscxcotx

Madoka: Back to government. What's the tenth amendment?

Me: Uh, something to do with any right that the national government doesn't have, it goes to the states.

Madoka: Close enough. Your doing pretty good and more easy to work with then Sayaka-chan.

Me: I'm not that dumb.

It was still around 6:58 and I'm not sleeping at this time. I seem to understand all the material. I may act like a mary sue, but unlike some people, I acutally pay attention in class and study.

Me: Want to go online and watch some anime?

Madoka: I guess.

We both use my laptop to watch some anime and I felt like watching some Dragonball z which Madoka find boring. This episode have Goku fighting Cell during the Cell Games.

Madoka: I kind of find this boring. Its just constant violence. Why can't these people talk things out peacefully?

Me: Because these people are awesome and bad ass. The series is just so cool with how all the characters being all powerful and beating the s*&^ ut of each other like a boss.

Madoka: You sound like Kyoko-chan.

Me: For the record she's my favorite Puella Magi Madoka Magica character.

After the episode, I decided to do something else online. I showed the goddess my fan fiction that crosses her series with Dragonball z.

Madoka: YOU DID WHAT!

Me: Yeah, I kind of did it because of the whole gods thing. I know you can foretell the whole Rebellion story so this would be old news.

Madoka: I really don't like you making Goku-san fight Homura-chan.

Me: It was a awesome fight right.

Madoka: Not really. I'm not a big fan of fights.

Me: Geez, that what some girls say to me.

Madoka: Can we do something else?

Me: Like meeting my parents.

Madoka: What?

My parents are right behind us. They looked angry that I brought a girl home.

Dad: Who is this, your girlfriend?

Me: No. She's a goddess that I summon.

Mom: Did her parents allow this? You could get arrested.

Me: I told you she's a goddess. Watch as she uses her magic to get rid of my nasty rash on my upper leg.

I showed my parents my rash and everyone was disgusted.

Me: So Madoka, show me your wonders.

Madoka just did it because she does not want to look at it anymore. My parents are convience, but wonders why she's staying with me.

Me: Well mom and dad, she got no place to go and can't got back to her domain until her ride is here.

My parents looked confused and have no idea.

Me: She's a goddess and is waiting for her ride back to heaven or whatever you call her home.

My parents with a pleased tone: Ahh.

With that my parents left and agreed and Madoka and I were in my room alone.

Madoka: What now?

Me: Some more Dragon Ball, not Z. The first one. Very different.

We both watch a random episode of Dragon Ball and she was disgusted.

Madoka: I can't believe that the series was so nasty before.

Me: What are you talking about? I find it funny when Goku says that the balls are gone when really he discovers that Bulma has no $%^* ,but a #$ $# .

Madoka: Your a fun guy, but a bit weird.

Me: I know I am.

After watching some other anime, we both hit the hay and went try to get some shut eye.

Me: Hey Madoka, could you let me have a bad ass dream?

Madoka: We are not doing inception.

Me: Fine, but at least let me control my dream.

Madoka: Fine, but you better wake up early tomorrow.

When I shut my eyes, I dreamt that I was on a motorcycle, playing a children's card game.

Me: F*& YEAH!

I spended my whole dream playing Yu-Gi-Oh on a motorcyle and it was awesome. I won't get into detail because this isn't a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction and it would be boring to some people to know about the duels I been in.

To be continued...

Note* Usually these types of stories have supernatural or strange things happen as the result of the unresponsible protagonist. However, its just that Madoka is not the type of person who would use her powers to harm people such as teachers and the main character is based on me and I would not be as careless as Nobita from Doraemon or Johnny from Johnny Test. I'm also trying my best to be not too redundant.

The later chapters will have crazy stuff happens because of her powers for reasons, but for now, you get character development and some getting to know each other. I'll think of something cool later.


	2. Chapter 2

The Goddess and Me Chapter 2

Note*Some stuff here is owned by nintendo.

It was after Period 5 in the beginning of the day that I have my quiz. Madoka is in her human form with her old school uniform, hair style and all. She used her goddess powers to disguise herself as a Japanese transfer student.

Madoka may not be in a goddess form, but her pink hair and uniform like clothes did show a lot of attention. Some students even question about her hair color while others just dismiss it as her dyeing her hair. Some people dye their hair in my school so it wasn't much of a big deal after the first class.

Madoka: People here are more rude. At my old school, everyone often say nice things about each others hair. Some people have blond hair or blue hair. Its even their natural hair color.

Me: Well, multicolored hair not common in this neighborhood or this country. Except for the blond, thats pretty normal.

The strange part about heading to Per. 1 was that a helicopter trashed the place. How did that happen? Well, it was this crazy idea I had when I woke up to let my AP English teacher own a helicopter and let him have an extreme morning.

Madoka: What?

Me: My English teacher always wanted a helicopter. I thought that it would nice if you can use your magic to make it so. [Yawn]

Madoka: If it were to benefit someone, I guess I'll do it.

Me: Also, let my teacher have an epic morning with it too.

Madoka: What do you mean by 'epic morning'?

In an instant at my AP Teacher woke up seeing a helicopter in his front yard. He went out with his sleeping clothes to observe it and went inside. Suddenly, the doors locked and the helicopter started working by itself.

It started flying and my teacher struggled to control it. It flew started piercing through the air, faster than what a regular helicopter can do. Suddenly the military came to go after my teacher.

Military guy: Sir, please land your helicoptor.

My teacher tries, but with no success. He ended up shooting them with missles which was not intentional. Then an army of Kaiju(Giant Monsters) appeared and my teacher accidently activated the lasers that killed off all of the Kaiju. The whole thing was like two hours I think and is like Pacific Rim or Godzilla.

Since my teacher isn't a train pilot, he ends up crashing into his classroom. Only a side of it. Everything else looks somewhat okay, but the classroom still had some damages.

That's where me and Madoka comes in. Along with some students, we enter the room, we see the rubble and disaster in the classroom. My teacher manages to get out of the helicopter by punching it.

English Teacher in a tired out tone: Alright class, we have a quiz today.

He thens falls down unconscious.

...

Everything else was a breeze until period 3 chemistry with the test.

Chemistry Teacher: Today I need you to know about lab safety and not touch the acid.

A student ends up touching some acid and burns her hand.

Chemistry Teacher: What did I tell you? Now we need to call 911 for help.

Madoka starts feeling bad for the girl so she help fix the acid damage to her hand, but that didn't stop 911 from coming and taking her away. The Goddess was too late for that.

Chemistry Teacher: Now we will start on the real experiment. First we...

The Chemistry accidently slipped on a nuclear puddle and got some strange acid on him. It was all thanks to some jerk in class that did it.

All I did was whisper to Madoka saying that...

Me: Could you give him spider powers? It would be cool ya know.

Madoka was not listening and just did it because she was panicing about the acid on the teacher. At least we have a real life Spider-man.

Suddenly the teacher got up all fine and was surprised that it was all okay. He held onto a desk, but it ended up sticking to it. He tries to get if off, but accidently got his sticky spider hands onto his face. He was stumbling back blindly as he ended up falling into more dangerous chemicals.

He ended up going to the hospital and chemistry class was dismissed again. Madoka used her powers to put him back to normal, but he was off to a better place. No its not death, its the hospital and he gets to meet the nurses.

I blame Willy Wonka for this.

Video Production class was nothing much except...

Me: I'm recording my own music video! E-QUACH IS IN THE HOUSE!

Madoka is in the background as a DJ with some of my classmates using newer equipment. People who are doing nothing join in the video with me.

My song: Just going to school, playing children card games.

All those ladies here want to #$# $# $ #$!

And a # #$ %%^%$&^%$!

Motel, Hotel, Intel, Microsoft.

Let me tell you something b*&*#, I just don't f&^*in care!

I ain't rhyming anymore cuz just rap whatever I want!

The stuff I'm saying is full of s$%^ anyways!

...

The dubstep was too powerful that the spotlight broke and fell off the celling. It ended up landing on my teacher.

Me: Oh 'god', will you be alright?

Ms.B: My last words to you is that your music video was amazing and also...

Me: Yes.

Ms. B: I'm suddenly okay.

The teacher surprisingly got up all fine after Madoka healed her. Everyone was shocked on how the teacher just gets up and act as if nothing has happen.

Ms. B: How did this happen? I was dying for one minute and the next I was all okay.

Me: Thank the new transfer student since she's magical.

Madoka begins to feel nervous: Uh, your welcome, and Erik, would you not show me off to people?

After all of that, it was lunch time and Madoka was pretty upset with me.

Madoka: Everything I do ends up hurting your teachers.

Me: Its not completely your fault. I mean, Willy Wonka was responsible for that chemical spill that Mr. H fell onto. Everything else was my fault.

Yes, the actual Willy Wonka from that movie did it and did not get arrested.

Madoka: Can we spend the rest of the school day normally?

Me: No promises.

Madoka: Erik, please. I don't want anyone else get hurt. We can do all of that fun goddess stuff after school.

Me: Meep.

Madoka: I'll take that as a yes.

Before math class started or at the end of lunch, we saw my teacher in depression since the Angels lost their game last night. I try to ask Madoka is she can do anything, but she says...

Madoka: No, not this time!

Me: But why?

Madoka: Remember your English, Video Production and Chem class.

Me: Everyone makes mistakes.

Madoka: You promised that we are going to have a normal day of school today, whether you like it or not.

Me: I said meep.

Madoka: I took that as a yes.

Me: It wasn't a yes or a no, it was a meep.

Madoka: I'm not going to use my godly powers because people will get hurt. Do you want that?

Me: Fine, I'll stop nagging you until after school. How's that?

Madoka: Okay.

My friend Joey appears out of nowhere: So what are you two talking about.

Madoka: Nothing.

Juan: Erik, is that your new girlfriend? Don't lie to me.

Hector, another friend that's got involved: Did I hear someone having a girlfriend.

Me: Hell yeah mother f*&#ers. Madoka and I are getting started.

Madoka blushed: Don't lie Erik. We are not in a relationship.

Me: Damn it.

Joey: Knew it.

Erik: Forever alone buddies.

Joey and Hector: Forever alone buddies.

We all did a fist bump. I did see Madoka being shocked about how we can have pride in lonliness. She was sadden that there was ever a thing called forever alone.

Madoka: Don't you find it sad to be forever alone?

Me: It sucks not having girlfriends, but its best to have friends at least. I'm not totally alone, just don't have a date.

Joey: I forgot that I actually do have a girlfriend.

Me: Shut up.

Madoka continued to not use her powers for the rest of the school day to avoid more problems and injuries. I even try to control myself to not ask her to do anything even though I want some spice in my average life.

...

Somewhere afar in a plane, a raven-hair girl sat at a first class seat in an airplane.

Flight Attendant: More strange purple Gatorade Ms. Akemi.

Homura: Yes please.

The Flight Attendant pour some of that strange Gatorade into the empty cup. This was no ordinary plane. Homura looked outside and saw the plane going through a vortex to my dimension. How she got a ticket to a plane like this remains a mystery? Our best guest is that Doctor Who was involved.

Homura smiled that she was not only be able to travel through dimensions, but also get to see Madoka again. Homura drank as she gazed at the streaming inner part of the vortex.

Homura: Homu Homu.

...

Schools out, now time for crazy things to happen. We start during my video game club.

Me: This here is video game club. The place I go to every after school on Mondays and Fridays.

Madoka: A club like that exist?

Anthony, a friend of mine in the club: Oh hey, your new here?

Madoka: Yes.

Anthony: Well, hi, my name is Anthony. You must be?

Madoka: Madoka Kaname.

Anthony: Are you like Japanese or something?

Madoka: Yes I'm Japanese.

Me: And a Goddess.

Madoka: Erik!

Erik: I got an idea about what we can do today. How about a real life Super Smash Bros. battle?

Madoka: Huh.

Me: Yeah, you can use your magic to set everything up for a crazy Super Smash Bros. fight and not let us die or seriously injured.

Madoka: I think that idea is sort of fun. Its decided, I will create a real Super Smash Bros. battle and will try my best to make it be like the game and no one get seriusly hurt or dies.

Me: Who wants to join?

Everyone in the club wants to join the fight. First guys playing are me, Madoka, Anthony, and another friend of mine named Albert. I might be a geek, but I'm geek with friends for the record. I know a lot of people.

The stage was set in the battle field from Smash Bros. we all get ready for battle.

Albert: Question, what's our move set?

Me: Whatever you want.

I started punching Antonio over and over again.

Anthony: Oh f*#$ man, quit the spamming.

Me: NEVER!

Albert uses a sword while Madoka uses her godly bow. She shot an arrow and Albert dodged it quickly because of video game logic. Albert than lands a big slash, sending Madoka off the stage. Even though Madoka is a goddess, Albert is good at playing Smash Bros.

Albert: OHHHH! You got owned.

Finally I stop spamming and actually started fight with a combonation of punches and sword slashes. Anthony was able to dodge and annoy he hell out of me.

Me: Damn it Daddy, why you no die?

Anthony: Because f*&^ you.

I called him Daddy because that's his nickname in Smash Bros. I have no idea why, but I seen weirder and funnier names.

I was finally was able to do the most ultimate move which is the...

Me: FALCON PUNCH!

Sadly I missed Anthony and got a bomb killing everyone on stage. Luckily Madoka is safe because she has just came back and is invulnerable temporary. Everyone was back on a platform and continued to slaughter each other.

I manage to get a hammer and started pounding everyone in my way. Three points for me. Finally the smash ball appears and we all try to reach for it. I noticed that Madoka was holding back, but I didn't mind. I used some random sword to reach the smash ball, but Anthony had a gun and shot it.

Looks like we have to see it for ourselves about what would Anthony's special would be like. Apparently, its has butt-naked angels.

Me: Holy s*#$, its the butt-naked angels.

Albert: Your copying Pit's special.

Madoka: Why do you guys call it that? They are called Centurions.

Albert and I started laughing cause there's butt-naked angels after us. They were all going after us and Madoka was too serious the whole time as she dodged while we get our asses kicked. At least none of us dies.

Anthony then got an AK-47 and started shooting randomly. I got some sort of blaster from Halo and started shooting and occasionally use my sword if I got near to someone. Albert just duel wield some guns and this is becoming a first person shooter game. At least Madoka still uses her bow and arrow.

I was damage so much that I flew off the stage and everyone else was brawling it out.

Me as I appear back on the stage: F#$% you all. Your all are f*&^ing dead!

I got back and started f#$%ing everyone with my f#$%ing sword. I was all like a Samurai and s#$%. Yeah I'm cursing a lot, but that's just I feel in battle. I started b#$%^ slapping everyone and I got shanked by Albert. Everyone got an arrow to the knee by Madoka and my friends and I said together.

My friends and me: F#%*!

Another smash ball appears and Madoka got it with her bow and arrow. She shot in the air and it rained down a storm of arrows.

My friends and me: AHHHHHHHHH!

We all got KO'd and Madoka won. Everything got turned back to normal.

Madoka: That was pretty fun.

Albert: Tell me about it.

After that, more people in the club join in more of these battles and it was epic.

...

Note*Sorry I took so long, had some set backs and school. Hope you like this chapter and also Homura will come soon.


	3. Chapter 3

The Goddess and Me

Chapter 3

Note* I may want to warn you all that the reason why I have been slow at submitting is due to my heavy schedule and school work. I know that I'm making excuses, but its true. Also this chapter will feature some characters that I do not own at all.

The weekend has begun as Madoka and I woke up to a beautiful Saturday morning. My parents and sister are still asleep so I prepared breakfast for the both Madoka and myself. I served some random bread s*&% to Madoka and ate some of mine. She doesn't like it.

Madoka: Really? That's all we have.

Me: I have you know that I am not as professional of a chef that I should be.

Madoka: Let me handle this.

In an instant, the table is filled with plates of eggs and toast. I didn't care, but just ate it because its better than whatever s*** that I had. Though suddenly I felt something was missing.

Madoka: Erik, what's wrong?

Me: Oh god.

Madoka: What?

Me: I just realize...

Madoka: Yes.

Me: That there aren't any more Saturday morning cartoons!

Madoka: Huh.

Me: They were part of my childhood and now there gone. I don't have cable so that I won't be able to watch other cartoon channel. Sure I can watch some online, but it won't have that magical feeling that I feel as a kid.

Madoka: I never really watch any as a kid.

Me: I have an idea. How about you make some door that lets us go into these old cartoons? That way we can experience the nostalgia feeling along with some twist to it.

Madoka: I guess it would be fun.

Me: Great, now lets wreck some Saturday morning cartoons on Vortexx or some 4kids shows.

Madoka: Wait, those cartoons.

Me: Yeah, some are pretty bad anime English dubs while others are fun cartoons, but I think it would be funny if I made some changes.

Madoka: Suit yourself.

Madoka created a door that opens to another world.

Me: Wait if you can do that, then why don't you open a portal that will bring you home?

Madoka: A cartoon world is easier to open than a world in another plane.

Me: Whatever.

We then entered the door that would lead us to another world or an animated world.

Note* The following will have shows owned by whoever owns the Vortexx block.

First off, Dragonball z Kai.

Madoka and I landed to the episode where Gohan fights Cell with the big Kamehameha duel.

Madoka: Is this Dragonball Z?

Me: No, its the kai version. A remake of the original. For some reason it doesn't get the same feel as the original.

Madoka: Bummer. Never got into it anyways.

Me: Your right. This was my favorite part of the anime, but I don't feel the same excitement like the original.

Vegeta: What the f*&$ did you just say?

Yes my friends, Vegeta just talked to me. He glared at me with anger. Madoka and I just staggered back a bit.

Me: Uh, I said that this part isn't as exciting as the original.

Vegeta: Part? The f*&% are you talking about?

Madoka: I thought this was a kids show.

Me: This whole thing is a fan fiction made by some idiot. He probably made Vegeta acts similar to the one in the Abridged series.

Vegeta: Answer me fools!

Me: The world you know is a lie. This world is just an anime.

Cell, the guy fighting Gohan looks back at me and seems interested. I'm surprised that someone like him would take give me some acknowledgement.

Cell: Such wise words of wisdom.

Gohan took this chance to power up his Kamehameha and kills Cell while he was distracted. I just looked surprised about the whole thing and asked Madoka if we could leave, which she quickly agrees and we left the place.

We both ended up back to my house exhausted even though it was only a few minutes. The magical door that lead us to the Dragonball Z Kai unverse. Madoka looked really sweaty from the confrontion of Vegeta.

Madoka: That was really scary.

Me: Well since you have a door that can teleport us anywhere, but your godly world, let's go traveling!

Madoka: That would be nice. Maybe we should go to Paris.

Me: Yeah, lets go to France during the French Revolution and see all the violence.

Madoka: That's not what I meant.

Me: It would be fun. We still get to see all the good stuff about France, only with some shooting and some assassins from Assassin's Creed.

Madoka: I doubt that that happened.

Me: I was joking. Of course there won't be any assassins like that. Its only a video game, though it would be cool if there were some.

Madoka: I hope not.

Right where we were about to travel to France using Madoka's magical door, a big explosion happen and a phone booth appeared.

Madoka: Oh no, not another Doctor Who reference.

No its not, its something else. The phone booth opens, revealing two teenagers. They look like rock fans and the sight of them makes you think that they are idiots. One of them is a blond with a white shirt and a jacket tied to his waist. The other one has medium or long black hair with a black vest, a white t-shirt, and an orange jacket tied on his waist.

The blond one: I'm Bill S. Preston Esquire.

The Black haired one: And I'm Ted Theodore Logan.

Both of them: And we are Wyld Stallyns!

The two of them then played their air guitar. I was amazed about these guys since its freakin Bill and Ted. Madoka doesn't seem to like them since her face showed some disgust.

Me: So dudes, how come you came to my house?

Ted: Well Rufus manage to modified our time machine to so that we can travel through dimensions.

Bill: Ted, these people don't know whose Rufus is.

Me: Oh I know Rufus because I watch your movie.

Bill and Ted: No way.

Me: Yes way.

Bill and Ted: No way.

Me: Yes way.

Madoka: Can we please stop?

Bill: I can't believe that they made a movie about us.

Madoka: I wanted to tell you that in this world, your journeys have been just a movie.

Ted: Bill, I don't think we're in San Dimas anymore.

Bill: I don't think we're in our world or timeline.

Both of them: Bogus.

My parents and sister ran down stairs to see what's up, but they fainted at the sight at the whole situation.

Me: So what brings you two here?

Bill: Well, we are trying to help this kid's report on the French Revolution and got this guy to help us.

In the phone booth appears a man wearing fancy French clothes and a blue hooded coat. He started speaking French and it sounded like he was confused.

Me: I don't play much video games except for the Nintendo ones, but you got an assassin from the Assassin's Creed series.

Bill: This guy is from a video game. Dude, I thought that he was from this world.

Me: No way.

Bill: Yes way.

Me: No way.

Ted: Yes way.

Madoka: You mean that this man is from this world and it could be that a video game depiction of history is really accurate.

Bill and Ted just shurgged.

Me: Cool. If that's the case, history got more cooler.

Bill: Really.

Bill and Ted: Excellent. (They play their air guitar.)

Ted: I know right. This guy was all jumping on walls, climbing and doing all kinds of stuff. We went up to him if he knows about Napoleon and the French Revolution.

Bill: It seems that he knows so we took him and ended up in your house for some reason.

We see Arno Dorian, that's his name in the game, looking around in confusion. He saw my television set and pokes it.

Madoka: We need to bring him back. The future may be too much for him to handle.

Arno then speaks more French and tries to open the window, but can't get out because of the black fence in from of it.

Madoka then tries to use her powers to make him go back to where he belongs, but a girl leap through a portal and almost crashed into Madoka. Since Madoka can see the future, she dodges, but doesn't realize that doing so make her a target against the Power Rangers Time Force.

The rangers shot their lasers and it got Madoka. I just freaked out when she got knocked out.

Me: Oh god.

Red Time Force Ranger: Now I need all of you time travelers in the house to please turn yourself in.

Suddenly Arno jumped out of the window and assassinate them all those rangers with some awesome blows. He started running to find some sense of direction while screaming random French. This is going to be like that Billy and Mandy episode when Fred Flintstone appears as a special guest.

Me: With Madoka out of commission, we can't just poof them away anymore.

I then notice the girl just just leaped through time.

Me: You must be Makoto Konno from that movie right. What's is called? Oh yeah. The Girl Who Leaped Through Time.

The girl started to speak some Japanese that I clearly don't understand.

Bill went up to the girl and said...

Bill: Its like dust in the wind. Dude.

He does this with some gestures and Makoto slaps him. Suddenly the Time Force Rangers appear in my living room again, but this time they are speaking Japanese.

Me: Wait, these aren't the our Power Rangers. These people are part of the Super Sentai series.

Ted: What's that dude?

Me: Japanese Power Rangers. They came first and America took some of their footage to make the show that we have today.

Ted: That is most utterly heinous.

Suddenly Bill just came out of the phonebooth with some more assassins.

Bill: Hey dudes, I manage to get more assassins that will help us. Rufus even gave us some translator thingy that lets us talk to some of them. I even have one for the Japanses chick.

And so the assassin when up against the Super Sentai team and sucessfully assassinate them all. It was glorious.

Bill toss me the translater and I gave it to Makoto and she now can speak and understand English. Then I laid Madoka on my couch, but left my parents on the ground.

Makoto: Okay, I'm confuse with all of this. How come I'm here while I'm suppose to be in my house trying not to be late to school again.

Me: I have no idea. Its as if time travelers are being transported directly to my house for some reason.

A voice: Oh I can explain all of this.

Bill: Dude, its Conan O'Brien.

Doctor Who: I am the Doctor.

Ted: Doctor who?

Doctor Who: Exactly.

Me: Great, we're doing a Doctor Who references and cameos.

Doctor Who: I would like to explain how all of this is happening. You see, every time traveler suddenly has their time machine being attracted to some supernatural force like a magnet. I believe that that specific magnet is that pink haired girl on the couch.

Ted: Whoa.

Me: That's great, now will you wait here in a closet until this is all over. I just think having you will complicate things.

Doctor Who: I completely understand. I'll have to wait for the next person who will make a fanfiction about me.

The doctor then heads to a random room that has a closet.

Me: Where were we? Oh yeah. What's the plan?

Bill: Its obvious that we will get the dude with these dudes.

He was referring to the assassins. Bill manage to get Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, Ezio Auditore, Connor Kenway, and Edward Kenway. Oh I almost forgot about them, they'll have some speaking lines soon. And thanks to the translaters, Ezio can speak English too.

Makoto: I might not be a time traveling expert, but isn't that a bad idea.

Ted: This would actually be the coolest idea we ever made.

Edward Kenway: So you lads want us to go after this assassin lost in this place.

Me: Exactly.

Connor: Then we must hurry.

Me: Yeah, about that, this is a different time era so you might need our help to guide you all.

Ezio: What is this flat box?

Oh god Ezio and Altair is looking on my televisions set. This cliche is getting old.

Me: Its a television set. An entertainment device.

Ezio and Altair: What?

Ted: This is T.V.

The two assassins are more confused. The looked at each other and notice something.

Ezio: It can't be. Your suppose to be dead long time ago.

Altair: What do you mean?

Me: What he's saying is that at his timeline, your dead.

Altair just looked shocked and Makoto slaps him.

Makoto: We have some serious buisness to settle with, remember.

Me: Okay lets go.

I then grab Madoka's portal door or I should call it the Everywhere door because I think that it may help a bit.

...

Well since the whole space time continuum crap has to come in play. Here what happens to Homura.

The raven haired girl is now at an airport in Los Angeles. She walked out of the place and finds a taxi. When she waves her hand, she notices that her left hand is becoming tranparent.

Homura: No, how is this possible? Could it have something to do with this world?

The taxi driver came by and picked Homura up. Homura hopes that her trip is worth her existance. The Taxi Driver looks back at Homura and says.

Taxi Driver: Say little girl, where are your parents?

Homura: I'm visiting them.

Homura knows English because of the influence of her soul gem. She used it so that the taxi driver can understand her.

Taxi Driver: By yourself.

Homura: My, uh, Aunt in Japan trust me to go alone.

Taxi Driver: I see.

Homura only thought right now is to find Madoka and her transparent arms. She looked at it again and saw that both of her arms and legs are becoming transparent. She must hurry.

...

Well as we prepare to go after the French Assassains, our own assassins just ditched us and started acting bad ass as they climbed on walls and all that fun stuff.

Me: They got it all handled.

Makoto: You let a bunch of killers loose in the neighborhood. They could cause major trouble.

Ted: Babe, you worry too much.

Makoto: Don't you dare call me babe!

Me: As I said before, they got it.

...

They don't got it because they were busy being chased by the police for climbing on people's roofs. You all won't get to see how awesome this chase because I don't have the budget for the CGI graphics and all without Madoka's help. You do however get to know what could have happened later.

...

Me: As I was saying, lets do our part now.

We were about to go searching, but found the assassin that we wanted to find in the nearest Stater Bros. I went up to him as he was choosing what he should drink and put the translater on him.

Makoto: We found him, I think since he had that assassin hood.

Both Bill and Ted: Excellent! (Play their air guitar)

Arno: The hell!

Bill: Don't worry dude, its only us.

Arno: You two. You're the fools who brought me to this weird place to begin with.

Ted: Dude, we just needed you help on helping this kid's report on Napolean and all.

Arno: For the record, I know him, but not everything.

Bill: Not even how he dies.

Arno: You know about that?

Makoto: Anyways, we need you to go back to where you belong.

Arno: Right. Now how am I suppose to do that?

Me: I have a solution.

I use the Everywhere door that I previously had and opening it, hoping that it would lead to Arno's home, but instead I saw Madoka's upset face. She wasn't angry, but somewhat worried and sad at the same time. Behind her were a bunch of people that you saw in some movies. You guess that they are totally time travelers.

Madoka: Erik, what happened? I woke up seeing a bunch of time travelers.

Me: Well glad that you woke up.

Marty: Hey Doc, what happened?

Doctor Brown: You see Marty, that pink haired girl must be attracting every time traveler to her. She might have some sort of energy source that would make her become a living magnet. If only there's a way to fix this.

Me: I have a solution.

Makoto: Argh.

Me: We need to bring this guy home.

I was referring to Arno.

Mr. Peabody: That might restore the space time continuum and we can get home.

Sherman: That's great Mr. Peabody.

Mr. Peabody: Quiet you.

Madoka then works her magic bringing Arno home and the other assassins that were being chased too. How does she know that the cops were after them? She's a goddess.

...

The assassins are back in their time era, removing their translaters if they had any and use their knowledge of the modern era. They only know these stuff because they ran by it.

Altair tries to immitate the pop music, but only got people booing him because he can't sing. However, he can dance.

Ezio tries to make pizza and was horrible at it.

Connor Kenway tires to create hamburgers out of anything, but cows. It tasted good.

Edward Kenway manage to achieve something that Altair couldn't. He can sing and his song became one of the most legendary pirates songs ever. Yes, my friends. He copied the Smosh Assassin's Creed 4 Rock Anthem.

Edward and his crew: Yo ho Yo ho

A pirate's life for me

Yo ho yo ho

Murdering fools for free.

That is also how the song was made by Smosh which manage to get in the hands of the lyrics that ends up in Kenway's hands and yadda yadda yadda. Where did the song come from? This time traveling crap is hurting my head.

Arno tries to invent television and people think he's crazy.

...

Madoka: Now that's settled, I should turn off my Anti-time traveler switch in my goddess dress.

Madoka turns into her goddess form and peaked inside her dress and turns off a button. Everyone was dumbfounded that she could do just that.

Madoka: I only had that switch because its for people like the Doctor or Dr. Rick Sanchez if he tries to time travel.

Everyone then goes back to where they belong. Makoto took off her translater and spoke some angry Japanese and leap into a portal. Well we don't get to know her much, but it was fun knowing her.

As Bill and Ted leave, they gave some few words before they depart back home.

Bill: It was cool meeting you dudes.

Me: Likewise.

Madoka: Please don't get yourself in trouble in the future.

Ted: Whatever.

Both of them: Catch ya later dudes!

The duo then left. Madoka turned back into a normal girl, if you can call having pink hair normal, and sat at my couch. I was pretty happy for what I delt with today even though it seemed rushed. Thanks a lot writer, you suck at what you do.

Even though it happened all too quickly, it was pretty intense and all. Though there might be the problem with the huge amount of crossovers.

Me: I hope that later chapters would be better than this.

Madoka: Agreed, and I think that this whole thing is my fault.

Me: Is it because of the whole switch thing?

Madoka: A huh. None of this would have happen if I never accidently pushed it. Though I don't remember doing so. In fact, I never went back into my goddess form since Thursday.

Me: Then who did it.

Outside of my house, there was a man on a roof looking. He was in a pink jumpsuit like costume and drank some Mountain Dew.

Me: Well at least we didn't mess up the past a lot.

I look outside and saw an ad for pet platypuses. I then heard a man listening to the radio that declared that they will play the national anthem, but it was the Spongebob Squarepants theme song.

Me: I think that we made better changes in the past.

...

Meanwhile, Homura is now completely transparent and fell off the taxi because of that. The taxi driver now thinks that his job is haunted as he screamed the whole way.

Homura: Not now! Madoka! Where are you?!

Homura ran and ran. Worrying about dissappearing without ever seeing Madoka again. However, since I saved the day, Homura then solidfied again. Homura looked at her hands and saw that she is no longer see through.

The raven haired girl presumed that someone messed with the past and manage to fix it.

Homura: Now to find Madoka.

Homura notices something different. Her voice gotten deeper and it made her sound really stupid. Homura then gave a big 'no' and tries fix this with her soul gem. It didn't work.

Homura: I think I need a doctor.

The magical girl knows that Madoka won't recognize her with that voice. She needs to fix this as soon as possible.

...

For the record, Doctor Who is still in my closet.

Doctor Who: Hello. Is it over? Uh bugger.

...

End of Chapter 3.

Note* Man this one was tricky. I know that this one may seem rushed, but I tried my best on it. Also, I added the whole crossover thing because I most recently got interested in the story of the Assassin's Creed series and just wanted to add a funny twist to it with time travelers.


End file.
